“The only way out is through” – Robert Frost’s Poem “A Servant to Servants”
How different would your life be if you could first accept what is difficult and then find meaning in your struggle?
Recently, I have been thinking about the dualistic forces that make life whole. Of course, we all know that we can not appreciate the beautiful and uplifting moments of our lives without feeling some unpleasant times as well. I am challenging you today to have a mindset shift and a different view of your life. Not only are these opposing forces necessary but those feelings and moments traditionally thought of as negative can grow you as well if you allow it.
What if you could embrace the struggle, the obstacle – acknowledge your pain whether it be physical, mental, or emotional, and just sit with it. From acceptance, could you then extend yourself and find a greater sense of purpose and worth in your difficult moments. Consider that with great loss comes deeper empathy for others experiencing grief. Physical pain may be a way for your body to alert you that a lifestyle change is necessary. Feeling excluded or lonely may be a message that your connection and purpose are undoubtedly out there, you just need to keep looking.
I have heard other people say that “what we resist, persists” and I have found this to be true. When we have ugly and difficult feelings they are mostly born out of our resistance to the current moment or situation. However, pushing these feelings aside or even down offers us no hope on how to cope with them when they inevitably show up again in the future. Frustration over the kids screaming when you are trying to get your work done. An emergency showing up in the middle of your already packed schedule. The chatty customer in line or slow driver in front of you when you are already late. What if these were all equally worthy moments and we embraced them like we would any other fleeting but happy moment in life. What if we face our challenges and lean into them instead of allowing them to incite even uglier emotions in response to them?
Life is difficult but would you truly appreciate your accomplishments without the struggle? Could you learn to be grateful for your growing task list because you can see that life would be empty, meaningless, and boring without the hope of working toward a brighter future? What is that impulse you feel right before you have that drink at night, you open that social media app? Can you forever numb away what you are running from or will it come back to haunt you as soon as your buzz wears off? WIll your pain return as soon as the medicine is out of your system? Perhaps the only way out is through.