TODAY IS THE DAY

Give Yourself Grace – The ebb and flow of your life energy

Posted on July 25, 2021 by kbodtmann

As much as we all wish, we can not be “on” all the time. There will be days you are beaten down, tired, and feel the weight of your to-do’s hanging over you. Days you just feel “off” yet the reason evades you. This is a signal. Take a break. Laugh. Linger in a conversation a bit longer. Play music and daydream. Smile. Breathe. Relax. Be magnetic instead of machinic.

Your to-do list will always be waiting for you but life won’t. Your kids will grow up. That trip can’t be taken later. Your friends will change – sometimes people move on and sometimes new people move in. Cherish the relationships you have today. Invest your time in ways that show the people you love that you love them. Fill your cup.

Nothing in life or in nature grows without first nourishing and nurturing itself. You are no different. A day of stagnation leads to explosive creation. Embrace the moments where you can pause. Give yourself grace instead of guilt. Watch the ebb and flow of your life energy. Our lowest low may be happening so we can experience our highest high. Accepting this simple truth may make all the difference.

Everywhere You Go, There You Are

Posted on July 18, 2021 by kbodtmann

What patterns and beliefs continue to guide you? One-off situations do not need to be analyzed. However, if you repeatedly find yourself complaining about the same things over and over – is it really the other person or place? Is the world really conspiring against you? My guess is no. Time to take a look at yourself and the role you play in your own life and relationships. Any time you find yourself assigning blame to another for your behavior or happiness (good or bad), therein lies the problem.

Self-aware people are hard to come by. Odds are if you get the feeling that people are moving away from you, they probably are. Recognizing this may be difficult, but once you have, changing is even harder. If you find yourself always seeking a “fresh start” only to find yourself back to where you are, you are not alone. Everywhere you go, there you are. Your patterns, attitudes, beliefs follow you because they are ingrained in you. Or are they? Personality is not permanent and your attitudes about life are malleable. I truly believe you can reinvent yourself at any stage and design the life you want. If your coworkers are “out to get you” and you feel no one supports you at work. If your relationships are always fraught with conflict and unhappiness and no one can provide the love you seek. If you tell yourself you are “too old” or your metabolism is “too slow” to lose weight. Then you are right. Everywhere you go, there you are. These same patterns will play out time and time again until YOU look inside yourself and take the initiative to be a different person.

I have a few ideas on how to get started. Any time a circumstance or person makes you angry or unhappy, ask yourself if you really want to allow someone else or something else to have that much control over you? Life is short and I like to believe that no one can control my inner state except for me. So if someone triggers you, CHOOSE to keep your inner state level, stay present, and then respond in the way you want instead of reacting in a way you will regret. Decide to show up differently than you ever have before. When you get a feeling or an impulse to do something ( yell at a loved one, eat that junk food, react in frustration) just experiment and do the opposite or do any behavior that is different than what you would normally do. If you wake up and watch tv, lay in bed, or check your phone first thing in the morning then STOP and try getting up and going for a walk outside first thing instead. Happiness is not the opposite of depression, purpose is. Treat others with understanding first and kindness second. Do things for yourself that bring you joy and catch your negative thoughts before you ruminate or act on them. Accept the moment as it is and be thankful every day that you take a breath on this beautiful earth. Find your purpose moment by moment. Everywhere you go, there you are. Why not love the person you are and you have become and bring your best self into everything you do and to everyone you love.

New Beginning or Old Patterns – A Subtle Way to Shift Your Life

Posted on June 7, 2021 by kbodtmann

How many times have you committed to a new version of yourself, only to fail time and time again? Magical transformations are not easy and come at a very high energetic cost. Some people have a major life event or tragedy befall them. Some people have a sudden understanding or realization where they see how things in their life have been misaligned and gain instant clarity on what their new embodied self will look like. With a breakdown, there may be a breakthrough. However, for those of us stuck in the rut of a mundane and habitual life – how do we gain the motivation and energy to transform ourselves without such a dramatic realization. One tiny shift at a time.

If you don’t like how you feel about yourself or what your relationships look like then it is time to shift internally. No one is responsible for how you feel or how you act but yourself. You control your emotional state and your behavior. Acknowledge what you are uncomfortable with and the things in your life that you feel bad about or treat you badly. It is likely that you have brought this into your life by the way you feel and how you treat others or by your old patterns and programming. If we face ourselves honestly, we usually know the hard truths about what is causing us internal strife. The courage comes when you find the fire and grit inside to step out of your old pattern and demand a better version of yourself. The key is not to push down or excuse your behavior thereby making it acceptable or justifiable, but to acknowledge it directly and take one tiny action that proves you are committed to being a different and better person.

In an effort to be transparent, I can share that my internal discomfort centers around vulnerability in all of my relationships. Yet, I am at my best when I let others in. I can deny this truth and stay guarded or I can try to lean on others more and let love in. Simple but not easy. Sometimes facing your discomfort with one embrace, one shared truth, one raw and emotional moment leads to one tiny shift in the way you view yourself. Sometimes, I visualize what life would be like If I did not make this change, this evolution toward connection. Am I willing to lose that person, lose myself, or lose my health and vitality just because I was not willing to face something that makes me uncomfortable? No, I am not and so I am willing to face myself and make that change now. I am willing to make one tiny shift toward a new beginning and shed my old beliefs and patterns that cause me to show up as a lesser version of myself. How can you lean into what makes you uncomfortable and embody it instead of turning away?

There is nothing holding you back from your new beginning but yourself.

How to Value the Journey

Posted on May 24, 2021May 24, 2021 by kbodtmann

The first thing I used to do when I would think about what I want to accomplish in a day or how I want to move forward on a goal was to break down the goal and make a list of action steps. This is what every productivity guru teaches, hoping you buy into the notion that you are the hamster on the hamster wheel and that you will finally be happy, free, and be able to rest once you accomplish that goal.. and then the next one .. and the next one. Personally, I am done with living life this way. I think it is much more important to ask myself these three questions (1) How do I want to feel every day while pursuing this goal? (2) Who is the person I need to become to make this goal possible? (3) What is accomplishing this goal bringing to me and can I get it any other way?

If working toward a goal is making you miserable then is it worth you’re emotional and mental health to accomplish? Maybe, sometimes short-term discomfort does bring you long-term happiness. Is there a way for you to find ease while still working hard and find enjoyment in the process? Sometimes we are injected with more energy keeping in mind how we want to BE and how we want to show up that day than thinking about what we need to DO or accomplish. Keep your feelings in the forefront and commit first to showing up with enthusiasm and the task will be done with more efficiency and care than if you approached it with a feeling of dread. Remember, you don’t HAVE to do anything in life, but you do GET to do the things you find important. My goal is not to run through my chore list today; my real goal is to truly enjoy what I am doing at the moment, connect to others, and be mindful and present to each task I am doing. Hey, if the laundry gets done in the meantime then this is just a bonus.

You can execute your goals faster if you take the time to invest in yourself and the person you need to be to accomplish those goals. If your goal is to write a book, then cultivate the discipline you need in life by committing to and executing small mundane tasks, whether you feel like doing it or not. If your goal is to be a calm parent or beloved teacher, then plan ahead to fit in extra sleep, start a mindfulness or meditation practice, and learn breathing techniques to be a more patient person. Imagine the type of person who would achieve this goal and work toward manifesting that person into existence with your thoughts, habits, and skills. Doing this will naturally bring you closer to achieving your goal and you will be a better person in all aspects of your life as an unintended benefit.

Examine your goal. If you want to lose weight, is it because you want to look and feel good in your own body, bringing you more self-confidence? Perhaps you just want to be able to move with greater ease and mobility to play with your grandchildren. Have you considered that starving yourself (aka calorie counting), negative self-talk, and punishing exercise is not the way to bring you what you want? I doubt chasing your weight loss goal and executing these traditional action steps will bring you to your true wants: loving yourself and quality time with those you cherish. Why not reverse things and work on the true end goal first and it is likely the original goal will be accomplished during this backward journey. You may find it easier to make healthy choices if you really love yourself and respect your body. You will exercise every day if you are motivated by your loved ones to naturally move and play. You can work through this with any goal: “I want more money” – likely you want the freedom to spend time the way you want. “I want my house clean and organized” – you want comfort and peace to have a clear and uncluttered mind. “I want to start my own business” – you want autonomy to express your creativity and realize your highest potential. Maybe the original goal will really bring you the outcome you truly desire or it may be that starting with the outcome in mind and pursuing that is the real answer. This examination may have you eliminate the original goal entirely, realizing you can have what you want today without all the struggle. All you need to do is think about your life a little differently.

It is your life and you can skip the struggle entirely or choose to embark on any journey you want. If you choose the struggle of a particular journey then please realize that the most valued outcome is not your original goal or destination. The real value lies in how you had to stretch yourself to get there and who you became along the way. The lessons you learn will be how to discover your true desires and in their pursuit, finding joy and equanimity in every moment.

Questions to Ask Yourself Daily: Live Your Best Life

Posted on May 17, 2021 by kbodtmann

With our brains bogged down with productivity and our days growing busier and busier we often overlook some important questions to consider. Are we enjoying our lives or just going through the motions. How do we break out of the “same day, same story” feeling that dampens us? Try asking yourself these 5 fundamental questions daily:

How can I feel more alive, excited, or expansive today?
How can I have peace of mind?
Am I feeling loved and connected?
What step toward freedom can I take?
What are the experiences I want to have today?
Adapted from Trip lanier’s book – “this book will make you dangerous”

How can you feel alive? What can you do to be more spontaneous or do something out of your comfort zone? Do something that makes your heart race. Confront the bully. Speak up when you normally would not. Step out of your comfort zone just to feel a bit more excitement in your day. Buck convention and go for a walk over lunch instead of continuously working. You do not have to have a journey to experience adventure. Figure out small ways to bring adventure and excitement into your life every day.

What has been weighing on your mind? A fight with a friend? A task uncompleted that gives you anxiety? A nagging relationship issue? Money or career issues? Meaning of life questions gnawing at you? Make time to explore how are you are feeling about it and then make a plan to confront the issue head-on. Bring yourself the peace of mind you deserve. Our personal success often has to do with how many uncomfortable experiences we are willing to have upfront to have greater peace of mind in the end.

The best way to feel loved and connected is to offer first. Is there a friend out there that you can reach out to and let them know how much they mean to you? Extra hugs for your family or a smile of appreciation for a coworker. If you are not getting the love and connection you need then it is your responsibility to either let the other person know or take your turn first. You really do get what you give in this world.

Freedom. I want to experience life the way I want to experience it, when and how I want to experience it. Unfortunately, this often drives us to the mindset of working hard doing something we don’t love now, to get more money, to maybe someday have that freedom. Scrap that model. What if every day you stole a bit more freedom back. Do something you love that makes you happy and find a way to eliminate things that don’t. You have the control to give people a “high quality no” ( Eckhart Tolle) when they ask you to do something you do not want to do. Own it and make more decisions for yourself that are aligned with your values in life and bring you more joy.

What experiences can you have today? When we look back on our lives it is often time with others and special events/experiences that we reflect on. How do you add more of this to your life? Can you do something today that it is novel and not part of your typical routine? Go for a hike after work, have a bonfire, have a spontaneous weekend trip. Strive to find more time to create these special moments and structure your life around them. If you do not prioritize your life, then someone else will.

Win the moment by aligning your decisions with these questions in mind. Evaluate everything you are doing. Ask yourself this: Is what I am engaged in right now making me stronger, making me feel more alive, bringing greater peace or freedom to my life, or fostering love, connection, or an experience I really want to have? If not STOP what you are doing and realign. If something you are doing is no longer bringing joy or strength into your life, I give you the permission to let it go and begin creating the life you have always imagined.

An Exercise in Structure that Adds Freedom and Energy to Your Life

Posted on May 10, 2021May 10, 2021 by kbodtmann

Having defined rules on what is most important and what needs to be executed on every day can help you achieve the freedom you need to enjoy your life while still accomplishing your goals. Yes, it is possible. When you rid yourself of any hesitation on the action steps that will move you forward, you save valuable time that can be added back for relaxation, self-care, or moments to enjoy with your friends or family. The way I do this is by defining my life buckets/life domains and using the following system to approach ALL of the things I have to do in an organized manner. This helps me retain some semblance of sanity and balance in this busy world.

The strategy entails listing out and defining all of your life buckets or domains that will help you to define a meaningful life and includes all of your “roles” and tasks as well. All of the following may not apply to you or may not be things you find particularly important in your life, but I can list out mine as an example and a framework for you to expound upon. I choose 12 life buckets because I can then choose one per month to go deep on in a calendar year or one per week to execute on to complete them all within a typical quarter. (1) Whole House Organization (2) Side Projects/Hobbies (3) Workout Programs/Goals (4) “Sharpen the Saw” (Personal Intellect) (5) Improving Work Skills/Work Tasks ( Professional) (6) Future Home/Outdoor Projects (7) Vacation Preparations/Travel Goals (8) Meal Planning/Supplements (9) Cleaning Schedule/House Tasks (10) Self Care and Virtues (11) Errands/Shopping (12) Family Enrichment/Well-Being ( Includes Dr. Visits).

I next make a list of focus items or prompts in each category. The focus items may be a quick action list, a set of goals with or without a timeline, or a concept to integrate in my life or brainstorm about. Sometimes the list is a brain dump of all potential activities of which I can choose from depending on my mood and energy level that day. For example, for my “Self-Care” bucket, I list out things like Yoga, Journaling, Meditation, Reading a Spiritual Book, Breathwork, etc. I can then choose that day which one of those I feel like doing based on my time constraints or my energy level which gives me a bit of flexibility. As long as I am making progress on something in that category, I signal to myself that these things are important enough to me that I make the time in my life ( even if it is only minutes) to do them or to think about them.

Now that I have clarity on what is important and have written out potential actions or projects in each life bucket/domain, I then decide on a schedule for execution that works for me. Generally, I will pick one life domain at a time to go deep on and really focus any extra time or attention in that area. Sometimes this may be a monthly focus or a weekly focus depending on the season/timing in my life as discussed above. It helps me to narrow my focus and pick one life domain/bucket that I want to make significant progress on at one time. Well, what about all the other things we have to get done in life? Are we just putting those aside? That is not possible in our busy world, which is why I also pick one life domain to make mini strides in every day so that I am not completely ignoring the 100 other important things that demand my time and attention!

In practice, this will look like the following: In the month of May, I am focused on my life domain (1) Organizing the Whole House. I commit to a practice that honors the theme of this month. Perhaps, I will spend 1 hour every weekend day organizing a space in my house. It can even look like brainstorming an organization schedule for the next 2 years to get it all under control. Whatever I do, my extra time and energy are poured into making significant progress in this life domain this month. Every day, I pick one tiny habit in the other life domains to act on within a rotating schedule. I may watch a 15-minute video on ultrasound to advance my work skills on Monday, meditate for 10 minutes on Tuesday, do a 10-minute workout routine or pick 3 exercises from a workout list on Wednesday, Read 10 minutes of a book to further my intellect / “sharpen the saw” on Thursday and scratch one thing off my forever-growing errand list on Friday. Saturday, I will go for a walk with my girls for Family Enrichment and Sunday I will batch cook/meal plan for the week. This is just an example. The daily habits I choose for each life bucket are tiny, short, actionable, and definitely doable – we are talking 10 minutes or less. Every life domain will get the appropriate attention it needs ( both deep and shallow) and I will free myself from reactive list-making and falling into the trap of being efficient but not effective. Efficient means getting things done, effective means getting the right things done and letting the rest wait.

The point of this exercise is that the things I value and deem most important to me, are written down in my life buckets/life domains and have been predetermined for this year ( editable of course). I can look at my list in the morning and know what I am working on for the day and what I am focusing on for the month. I get things done that matter most without spinning my wheels. I have the clarity I need to execute on something every day without the guilt that I am missing out on giving something important in my life the appropriate time and dedication it deserves. For a busy mom, this is priceless. In time, this structured way of looking at what is important to me and executing on what REALLY needs to be done each day leads to a great sense of fulfillment with an added energy boost knowing I am working on the things I value most. I can enjoy the freedom of extra time to do what I want to do, when I want to do it because every day I know I have already added a small drop to one of the buckets of my life and that makes my soul full.

To be Accepted and Seen

Posted on May 3, 2021 by kbodtmann

Journeys often veer off unexpectedly and seemingly small decisions can impact our lives greatly, often in unforeseen ways. A chance encounter from a last-minute night out. A large decision to change a career path that leads to a most cherished friendship. Surprising yet beautiful outcomes can come from every big or small decision we make. Were these people meant to cross my path or were they validation that I was going the right way? True love within a friendship or relationship is to be seen and accepted. To grow together in a mutual support, to lean on one another. Whether travelers on the same road or met at an intersection, I am eternally grateful for those decisions that led me to the people in my life that I value most. The people who hold a space of love where I am safe to be seen and know I will always be accepted.

Multitasking is an Antiquated Notion

Posted on April 26, 2021April 26, 2021 by kbodtmann

We are driven by the “do more, achieve more” hustle culture that has permeated our mindsets. However, grinding out task after task does not lead to personal fulfillment or happiness and neither does saturating every moment with as many inputs as possible. Like a computer, the more windows and processes you have open and running, the more memory you are using. The more “memory” you are using, the slower the execution of all your inputs with less detailed, slowly loading outputs. The myth of multitasking has been robbing us of two things – our efficiency and our enjoyment of life. The antidote is two-fold and simple – learn the art of single-tasking and focused acceptance.

If you want to be more efficient then work on one task at a time. Of course, we all have family members, friends, or emergent messages and tasks that will inevitably interrupt our flow. This is not what I am referring to. My recommendation is to set an intention prior to anything you are doing and become in-distractible during that task. For instance, write that proposal, make that presentation or finish your charts without browsing social media, checking slack, and tidying your desk simultaneously. There are so many tools that can help us but a few suggestions I can make are utilizing the Pomodoro technique (25 minutes focused work /5 rest or 50 minutes focused work/ 10 rest), turning off ALL notifications on your phone or putting your phone in another room, and utilizing the FREEDOM app that blocks all web distractions on all your devices simultaneously. When you work on one task at a time, uninterrupted, you are able to utilize creativity and inspiration to get into “flow” (aka the zone) and execute that task faster. Your brain is a beautiful processer but you can’t jam it up with 100 requests at once. Give it one question to mull over without distraction and the answer will come quickly and the solution will be simple and eloquent. You just need to give your brain the space it needs to deliver on your request. You deserve to achieve great things, but you are standing in your own way if you are not giving yourself blocks of focused time to single-task on the goals and projects that matter most.

You deserve more. You deserve a life where you can savor each thing you are doing with your full attention. The people around you, at work and in your home, also deserve your undivided attention. If you commit to spending an hour with your children then they truly deserve an hour of your full attention. Do you know how children spell love? T-I-M-E. If you are going for a walk then put down your phone and look at nature with awe and gratitude. At work, be the highly engaged and motivated person who is intently focused on your patient’s/client’s/coworker’s well-being and is present in the moment and always ready to help or be part of the solution. Be deeply engaged with life as it is. This is what I call – focused acceptance. It is understanding that you can not control what is happening in every single moment of your life so instead of wishing you could change it or that you were somewhere else, doing something else, fully embrace each moment as if you did choose it. I would find myself unable to enjoy the beautiful moments of life because I was obsessed with making each moment productive. This looked like cramming work in during family events or resenting park days with my children, mourning the time I could have spent cleaning or making some other forward progress on my to-do list. Until I realized how sad and meaningless a life like this is. What I had was a life filled with multitasking and a bank of memories filled with tasks instead of people and adventures I loved. We all deserve more. Be where you are. When it is time to work do so in a structured and efficient single-tasking manner. This will create even more time for you to appreciate the space between and cultivate the precious moments you cherish most. With a clear mind and purposeful intention, you will be fully present with the people and ideas you love. After all, isn’t this what life is all about?

Ode to Earth – A Poem by Kristin C.

Posted on April 22, 2021 by kbodtmann

In the vacuum of darkness and limitless direction, a glowing blue marble of relative perfection.
Change is the only constant from your unfaltering motion, natural rhythms conducted by your cycles and oceans.
The passage of time, we measure in every rotation, the extent of our experience in every revolution.
Slightly atilt from early volatile collision, led to the awe of your lunar and seasonal creation.

Deep within, molten rock and your charged iron core, a secret weapon of external solar deflection, is a force that does more –
This mighty presence is your Electromagnetic Field, it generates polarity and is a powerful shield.
Life is made possible through it’s atmospheric protection, as well as the provision of navigational direction.
Your seemless beauty and all that came next, truly can not be understood from theories or text.

Along with the passage of unfathomable days, an immense biome evolved in variable ways.
From single-celled bacteria to complex vertebrate form, some more than others have left scars on their home.
Visible on your dark side, away from the Sun’s eye it’s hid, a distinct presence is ‘shone’, illuminated in grid.
Human kind has left the largest footprint on your earth, yet it’s important to state our purpose is of no greater worth.

We are united together on you, our ONE planet, plain truth from this distance above,
Therefore, we should treat one another, each species, and YOU with great LOVE.
Those dedicated to this call, rise up and remain vigilant, yet many are blinded by ego, blissfully unaware, or plain ignorant.
ALL was brought forth and nurtured from your motherly womb, as ALL will lay rest and be recycled in your encompassing tomb.

Often, it can be turbulent on this marble in space, and your inhabitants will succumb to multiple fates.
Sometimes by your hand through elemental disaster, but more often by our own undoing, we get there much faster.
In the midst of existence, our tribulations and our yearning, one thing is for certain, you, Earth, will keep turning.
Sometimes all it takes is a view from afar, to see just how magnificent of a planet you are!

Thank you Earth!

Written on April 22, 2020
Happy 51th Anniversary of Earth Day today

Be True To Your Life Values

Posted on April 19, 2021April 19, 2021 by kbodtmann

A person of integrity stands true to their moral and ethical values at all times, no matter the circumstance or who is watching them. They stand strong to their personal principles and always act ethically and morally. To me, this is one of the most important attributes of a good person and is a paramount quality for a good leader. In fact, the best leaders are those who do not simply have the title but naturally influence others by living from a strong set of personal principles and step up to help and encourage even in the most difficult of times.

There are people in this world that seem to change their colors like a chameleon, altering themselves constantly for some personal gain or interest. There are others that seem to easily shed their skin like a snake. They lie to themselves that the rest of the world can not see who they really are but with each shed, the snakeskin is always left behind as a remnant of their past indiscretion. These remnants can be easily found by others. The snake may shed its skin thinking itself fresh and renewed but people can still see that at its core, a snake is a snake. Don’t be a chameleon and don’t be a snake. Be a person who knows themselves and lives each day at home, at work, with friends, with partners as their true self. Commit to life values that we all know to be paramount – honesty, kindness, respect, and consistency of character. If you make an honest mistake, own up to it. Take agency and accountability for all of your life decisions and don’t blame other people or outer circumstances for your poor decisions or unethical behavior.

When you stray from your life values this can have a ripple effect on everyone around you and damaging consequences. If you think people can not feel disingenuous behavior or see the inconsistencies of your character, you are wrong. People have a deeper sense and intuition about others and an ingrained talent to spot those who have a self-serving or deceitful nature. There is just so long you can fool those around you when you act in an incongruent manner. We have all been around someone who makes us feel uncomfortable and a sense that this person is not who they say they are – and trust me if you have felt that, you were right. If you are reading this blog, you are undoubtedly a person who is interested in growing, evolving, and striving to be a better version of yourself. My advice to you is to cultivate an unshakeable set of life values that can guide you in all your decision making from narrowing down your list of life priorities to having a deep sense of self that guides you in your most difficult times. If you live out these values day to day and vow to always be a person of high integrity, then you are already winning. The world has a way of rewarding those who are true to their highest self and virtues and unfortunately, the adverse is true as well.

This post is dedicated to my Father who is a constant inspiration and embodies what it is like to live a life of high integrity with love for his family and a deep sense of moral value and my soul sister Kristin who is walking beside me on the same path and has taught me to love and always be true to myself. Happy Birthday to two of my favorite people.