What does feeling like it have to do with it? We are faced with many things during the day that we may not feel like doing and that is part of life. People used to believe that a Thought –> Feelings –> Behavior. This is not the true progression. In actuality, it is that a Thought –> Behavior –> Feeling. If we always left our accomplishments up to how we felt in the moment then we would not achieve much and as a result, feel terrible about ourselves. What we need to do is first think about our higher-level values and priorities, set up a system of behaviors or actions we want to take, and the feelings will be the result and our reward for taking action.
Think of your brain as a high-functioning processing system. It is meant to interpret signals from the body but doesn’t discern the nuance or intention behind the physiologic pose or cue. It just takes it at face value. Two remarkable studies have shown similar findings (1) Amy Cuddy’s “power pose” ( aka standing like superman for 2 minutes) elevates blood levels of testosterone and reduces cortisol (2) The pencil smile experiment (I named it that) where participants mimicking a genuine smile by holding a pencil in their mouth, were less stressed with faster physiological recovery when given difficult tasks compared to those mimicking a fake or no smile.
It is the little things in life that are easy to do and yet just as easy NOT to do that make the biggest difference. When making a choice between a habit that you know will help expand you, yet you do not feel like doing it, try this motivation system: (1) How will my future self feel if I follow through on this action? Remember, you generally feel great after the run, not before. You will feel relieved after finishing work or a project that has been looming over you but may not feel like starting to work on it at the moment. Sacrifice a little bit of your current self, just start, and your future self will thank you. (2) Practice something I call “positive deception”. This is where I tell myself that I will only take a micro-step toward accomplishing something. Once that something is started, I generally keep working on it or finish it; Harnessing my inner Newton and the law of inertia. As Yoga Instructors say – the hardest part is getting to the mat. So say to yourself, ” All I have to do is open the document on my computer and write one sentence” or ” I will put on my shoes and just walk down to the mailbox” and see what happens. (3) Celebrate yourself for acting even when you felt resistance and affirm that you are the type of person that follows through on what matters most. Even when you don’t feel like it.
Think –> Do –> Feel. This is not meant to be used to force out your much-needed recovery time. If your body is truly sending you a signal that you need a break then by all means take it. Taking time for yourself enhances productivity, not dampens it. Think – Do – Feel is a way to remind yourself that your highest feelings of accomplishment, gratitude, pride come after doing the hard things. The things that you least want to do. There is no emotional free ride in life, you’ll have to earn it.