The first thing I used to do when I would think about what I want to accomplish in a day or how I want to move forward on a goal was to break down the goal and make a list of action steps. This is what every productivity guru teaches, hoping you buy into the notion that you are the hamster on the hamster wheel and that you will finally be happy, free, and be able to rest once you accomplish that goal.. and then the next one .. and the next one. Personally, I am done with living life this way. I think it is much more important to ask myself these three questions (1) How do I want to feel every day while pursuing this goal? (2) Who is the person I need to become to make this goal possible? (3) What is accomplishing this goal bringing to me and can I get it any other way?
If working toward a goal is making you miserable then is it worth you’re emotional and mental health to accomplish? Maybe, sometimes short-term discomfort does bring you long-term happiness. Is there a way for you to find ease while still working hard and find enjoyment in the process? Sometimes we are injected with more energy keeping in mind how we want to BE and how we want to show up that day than thinking about what we need to DO or accomplish. Keep your feelings in the forefront and commit first to showing up with enthusiasm and the task will be done with more efficiency and care than if you approached it with a feeling of dread. Remember, you don’t HAVE to do anything in life, but you do GET to do the things you find important. My goal is not to run through my chore list today; my real goal is to truly enjoy what I am doing at the moment, connect to others, and be mindful and present to each task I am doing. Hey, if the laundry gets done in the meantime then this is just a bonus.
You can execute your goals faster if you take the time to invest in yourself and the person you need to be to accomplish those goals. If your goal is to write a book, then cultivate the discipline you need in life by committing to and executing small mundane tasks, whether you feel like doing it or not. If your goal is to be a calm parent or beloved teacher, then plan ahead to fit in extra sleep, start a mindfulness or meditation practice, and learn breathing techniques to be a more patient person. Imagine the type of person who would achieve this goal and work toward manifesting that person into existence with your thoughts, habits, and skills. Doing this will naturally bring you closer to achieving your goal and you will be a better person in all aspects of your life as an unintended benefit.
Examine your goal. If you want to lose weight, is it because you want to look and feel good in your own body, bringing you more self-confidence? Perhaps you just want to be able to move with greater ease and mobility to play with your grandchildren. Have you considered that starving yourself (aka calorie counting), negative self-talk, and punishing exercise is not the way to bring you what you want? I doubt chasing your weight loss goal and executing these traditional action steps will bring you to your true wants: loving yourself and quality time with those you cherish. Why not reverse things and work on the true end goal first and it is likely the original goal will be accomplished during this backward journey. You may find it easier to make healthy choices if you really love yourself and respect your body. You will exercise every day if you are motivated by your loved ones to naturally move and play. You can work through this with any goal: “I want more money” – likely you want the freedom to spend time the way you want. “I want my house clean and organized” – you want comfort and peace to have a clear and uncluttered mind. “I want to start my own business” – you want autonomy to express your creativity and realize your highest potential. Maybe the original goal will really bring you the outcome you truly desire or it may be that starting with the outcome in mind and pursuing that is the real answer. This examination may have you eliminate the original goal entirely, realizing you can have what you want today without all the struggle. All you need to do is think about your life a little differently.
It is your life and you can skip the struggle entirely or choose to embark on any journey you want. If you choose the struggle of a particular journey then please realize that the most valued outcome is not your original goal or destination. The real value lies in how you had to stretch yourself to get there and who you became along the way. The lessons you learn will be how to discover your true desires and in their pursuit, finding joy and equanimity in every moment.